


He Remembers...

by DancesWithKoiFish



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Post-Allison's Death, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:23:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7340818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DancesWithKoiFish/pseuds/DancesWithKoiFish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Nogitsune has been vanquished from Stiles. Though the Nogitsune may be gone, to Stiles he's still there.  Scott wants to help Stiles but he can't do that unless Stiles lets him in. Haunted by their time of dealing with the nogitsune the pack has to deal with the aftermath left in it's wake. Could Scott and Stiles become something more while dealing with their scars?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My past is my present

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is my first work of fanfiction, so hopefully it's up to par. Please be aware of the tags as this work does contain content that may be uncomfortable to others. This work does contain dark elements, angst, depression, grief, loss of a loved one, and PTSD.

He remembers the blade pushing in. He closes his eyes and he’s there again. Helpless to do anything as the blade pierces his best friend, his family, his everything. Powerless to do anything but watch as Scott’s body falls to the floor. Transported to this time again and again. No matter how much he screams the desperation, urgency, and powerlessness feelings surrounds him. 

Maybe if he was stronger he could have stopped Scott from being hurt, maybe if he had taken the bite this wouldn’t have happened at all maybe, maybe, maybe… Nothing now can erase what happened, what keeps happening every time he closes his eyes.  
The look of confusion, worry, anguish, betrayal all flash upon Scott’s face. The Nogitsune knew it need to survive, pure anguish, heartbreak, and total submission from his host. Sifting through the boy and finding just the person that could completely break him. The amount of unwavering trust, love, and devotion made it so obvious there would have been no way to conceal it from the Nogitsune. 

Stiles will never forget the moment the blade pierced Scott. How his vision goes white he’s screaming, begging for it to all to stop. He can’t do anything but try to watch this thing use him no matter how hard he tries to just get himself to move. He sees himself start to move away from Scott and thinks this is the last time desperately trying to move back toward him just one fucking step would be enough. His whole world was in shambles from that moment on and it would only continue to be decimated. Without control, without say, everything would be destroyed by his own hands.

He remembers the blade pushing in. Through the Nogitsune he could see it all transpire. Stiles wasn’t one to have many friends but he did have few, one of them was Allison. Even if they were friends from the extension of Scott she was one of his handful of friends. He remembers that monster inside him commanding the Oni to slaughter his friends. The constant torture and fight that he’s endured for he doesn’t know how long is wearing him down. Though he tries with all his might to stop the Nogitsune, to try to stop the Oni, he is unable, he is too weak, not strong enough like always and Allison dies. The piercing screams from Lydia, and god no, Scott. He can feel his heart breaking as he knows Allison is probably take her final breaths. He knows if he makes it out of this somehow Scott, Lydia, and himself will never be the same. 

How was he supposed to live now, when he couldn’t bear to face anyone? All of the damage, grief, and suffering done by his hands, he didn’t deserve to have the people around him. How could he possibly atone for what he did and did not at the same time? If only he had been stronger, smarter, just something that could have better fought off that monster. Even though the Nogitsune is gone and it’s all over with it’s not, because he’s still there. 

He remembers, he remembers, he remembers…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I was going to leave this here as a one shot. However it seems that I'll probably continue it for a couple more chapters as my mind keeps trying to add more when I think it's finished. Mainly this story will encompass Scott and Stiles getting better, so the Scott/Stiles parts may take a back seat at times. At least that is my thoughts for now on this fic. Feel free to leave comments and thank you very much for reading. Hopefully i'll see you next chapter! :)


	2. Be there for yourself, Be there for others

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there is a brief touch on Scott's past therefore be aware of brief mentions of alcoholism, implied alcohol abuse, and child abandonment. 
> 
> This chapter center's around Scott.

He’s not okay, but that’s okay. He remembers when his dad left his mom told him you can be not okay and that’s okay. He was young so it was hard to understand almost as hard to understand why his dad acted so weird when he drank sometimes. When his dad left he didn’t understand how to act or what to feel he was too young everything was confusing and he just felt so sad. He didn’t think he would ever stop feeling so sad, so confused. Eventually with his mom, and Stiles every day was another step to being better. 

Right now it feels bad, worse than when his dad left, he’s not sure. Allison is gone. This town is full of memories of her and he can’t escape it. Allison is…well Allison was special, she meant a lot to him and he’s still coping…with a lot. Sometimes he dreams of that final moment with her, holding her in his arms as she breathes her last breath. He knows Allison wouldn’t want him to be like this haunted, depressed, and a confusing mix of emotions. He just needs a little bit more time and he’ll get there right now he just wants to wallow and grieve for a bit longer. Now he has his friends, his mom, and Stiles. So he knows eventually he will be better.

But for now he’s not okay, but that’s okay, because he’ll get there.

He has the pack and he knows they need him. He hasn’t seen Lydia in quite a while, and he’s not even sure if Derek is still in town When Erica and Boyd died Isaac started to visit sometimes. He was glad to be there for him to help Isaac deal with the loss of his pack member. Now Isaac seems to come over now more than ever. Stiles, well, no one’s been able to even breach his room, except for his dad.

He’s worried about Stiles. From what he’s gathered from the Sheriff, Stiles hasn’t left the house at all since the Nogitsune. He can smell the dark mix of emotions outside of Stiles’ house. Sometimes when he runs at night, lets the wolf guide him he finds himself at Stiles’ house. He can hear the quite sobs coming from Stiles in the house, it’s like he can feel it and it’s heartbreaking. More times than he can count he’s tried to see Stiles to at least to see with his own two eyes that Stiles is okay. However, the doors and windows remain locked and he can feel the mountain ash barrier surrounding the room anytime he gets close. 

It just doesn’t seem like he can win. Allison is gone, and even though he has him back, he’s losing his best friend. His friends, his pack, everything he’s gained in the past couple of years feels like it’s slipping through his fingers. He know what he needs to do. He needs to get the pack together, needs to be there for them. He’s the Alpha, he needs to be strong. 

Right now he’s not okay, but that’s okay, because he’ll get there, for himself, for his pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned before i'm new to this whole thing so comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you for coming back for chapter 2 and I hope to see you in the next. :)


End file.
